I saw the headline in the paper "Paris goes down again" - i thought she'd released a new video

Bigskip's last I vote best pun for 2007. Hey Jan what movies are we seeing this weekend?

I thought that you were gonna get them...

Duho! I thought I was supposed to get the groceries ordered!

Well, let's put it down to communication error..... I let you run the show this weekend and you have free hands..
Go wild!

As i am now a landowner on the wonderful Isle of Islay, it's doubles of 30 year old Laphroaig all round on me

Andy

As I walk into the the road house I see the usual crew but far more subdued than in past months. . . The disco ball is stationary. The pinball machines are quiet. The stage is dark. . . but its a packed house. Who put that chicken wire up? Suddenly the stage lights go up and the band takes the stage. Spinning electric guiatrs and Flying Vees, Ludwig double drum set and beau coup women in daisy duke shorts.

I got shot through a space not long ago,
I thought I knew the place so well.
It wasn't the same, now it goes to show,
Sometime you never can tell.

I'm lookin' high and low, don't know where to go,
I got to double back, my friend.
The only way to find, what I left behind
I got to double back again, double back again.

You know I'm movin on in this fine machine,
Rollin' on through the night.
Seein' things like I've never seen
And it's taking me outta sight.

Lookin' high and low, don't know where to go,
I got to double back, my friend.
The only way to find, what I left behind
I got to double back again, double back again.

It's got me up and down,
I been lost and found,
Down in a deep dark hole.
Looks like my luck has changed,
I been rearranged
And I'm coming out on a roll.

Lookin' high and low, don't know where to go,
I got to double back, my friend.
The only way to find, what I left behind
I got to double back again, double back again.

Double Back Again, Double Back Again!

Greetings gentlemen.....

A little bird whispered in my ear that you're looking for you means of transportation young Baron Rittmeister Von Flashberger...
How about this Rolls Royce that I have in the garage in the back?
Would that suit you? You're more than welcome to use it whenever the need occurs.....

Yahozaaaa!!! Looks quite comfy.

Late night at the cafe and its jamb packed. Wall to wall body heat and the air is thick with expectations with the scents of Axe and Jontou. Somewhere in the dark it begins. The drummer's slow plodding backbeat. Like a 10lbs maul on a 300 year old anvil, it cuts the night and beats it into submission. Then the singer in this tailored charcoal grey silk suit and white shirt. The all girl band strikes it up. Short skirts and slicked back short hair....mmmm another beautiful night.

"I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want) - She says

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

(So what you need?)- She says

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)- She says

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)- She says

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus:]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the scriptions come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up a**holes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla, on the house)- She says
I'm gonna dress my a**
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)- She says
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the scriptions come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a dealer on speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my scription from a pez dispenser

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

[Chorus]
'Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the scriptions come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a dealer on speed dial

Well, Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Well, Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I found this today on the announcements bulletin board of the cafe.

"Hello all,

Wanted to let you now that this morning at 8.40 hours my son was born (14 days past the due date). His name is Willem Teunissen. His weight is 3980 grams, en 54 cm long. It was not easy for Cindy to have been given labour, but he came out allright.

We are all doing fine, and Cindy will leave Hospital tomorrow.

I am as happy and proud as a man can be!

Greetings, Nico Teunissen"

Hi Cindy, Nico and... Willem!!!

Wow, great news! Congratulations to you!

Now the real fun begins!

Jean-Luc

P.S. thanks Stephen for the info!

Its one of the quiet nights here at the cybercafe. Its poetry night and a cool cat wearing the all black anssemb' of t-shirt, jeans, socks loafers, beret and shades steps up to the microphone. The semi-famous Guy Patterson formwerly of the one-hit "Oneders" poses for his prose. The spot light is unyielding in its performance.

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE
AND TO SEE JUST WHO, IN THIS SMALL HOME DID LIVE

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE -
NO TINSEL NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY THE MANTLE JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF A FAR DISTANT LAND
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS.
THEN A SOBER THOUGHT CAME INTO MY MIND

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
T'WAS THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN DISORDER
NOT HOW I PICTURED A LONE BRITISH SOLDIER..
WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ,
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED

I REALISED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS, WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT
AND SOON ROUND THE WORLD THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY

THEY ALL ENJOY FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER, HOW MANY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME?

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED, I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE
'SANTA DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE.
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE
MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP.
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SAT AND SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHTS CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE, ON THAT COLD DARK NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOUR, SO WILLING TO FIGHT...

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE
WHISPERED 'CARRY ON SANTA, CHRISTMAS DAY IS SECURE'
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND - AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!'

THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN BY A BRITISH PEACE KEEPING SOLDIER STATIONED OVERSEAS.


Christmas will be here soon and we owe these good people a debt. All soldiers wearing the uniform honourably deserve our respect.

I saw this over on another cafe. . .
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Aviation Style

'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,

Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.

The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,

In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.




The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,

With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.

I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,

And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.




When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,

I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.

A voice clearly heard over static and snow,

Called for clearance to land at the airport below.




He barked his transmission so lively and quick,

I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".

I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,

The better to welcome this magical flight.




He called his position, no room for denial,

"St. Nicholas One, turning left onto final."

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Ratan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!




With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,

As he passed the fixes, he called them by name:

"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!

On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he taking?






While controllers were sitting and scratching their heads,

They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,

The message they left was both urgent and dour:

"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."




He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,

Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."

He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh

And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..."




He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,

I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.

His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost

And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.




His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,

And he puffed on a pipe (but he didn't inhale).

His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,

His boots were as black as a crop duster's belly.




He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,

And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead."

He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,

I knew he was anxious for draining the sump.




I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,

And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.

He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,

Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.




And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,

These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.

He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,

Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"




And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,

He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.

"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,

Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion"




He sped down the runway, the best of the best,

"Your traffic's a Grumman, inbound from the west."

Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,

"Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight."

In the spirit of the season a slightly chubby bearded gentleman steps up to the microphone, gently strums his guitar and in a voice more gravelly than a a gravel pit breaks into song :-

Im driving home for Christmas
Oh, I can't wait to see those faces
I'm driving home for Christmas,
Well Im moving down that line
And its been so long
But I will be there
I sing this song
To pass the time away
Driving in my car
Driving home for Christmas

Its gonna take some time
But I'll get there
Top to toe in tailbacks
Oh, I got red lights on the run
But soon there'll be a freeway
Get my feet on holy ground

Merry Christmas to All

Doubles of Laphroaig all round

Andy

Well its a quiet night here at the cafe. Just afew of the gang inhouse tonight. The old standbys. And they all voted on an old goldie from down in the cafe vaults.

"Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!"

Thats right folks the day the Earth stood still!

For you youngsters; "Klaatu (Michael Rennie) arrives in a flying saucer-like spaceship and lands on the Ellipse in President's Park, Washington, DC. He declares he has come in peace on a mission of goodwill; he holds up and activates a small device that opens with a snap. Before he can explain what it is, Klaatu is shot and wounded by a nervous soldier, who assumes the device is a weapon. In response, a large robot called Gort steps out of the spaceship and melts all weapons present without harming the soldiers, until the wounded Klaatu orders him to cease. Klaatu explains the "weapon" was a gift to the President and could have been used to study the other planets.

He is taken to Walter Reed Hospital and quickly recovers. While there, Klaatu meets the President's secretary, Mr. Harley, but is unable to convince him to organize a meeting of world leaders. Klaatu suggests the United Nations, but is told not all the world's countries are represented there, and later, that world leaders cannot even agree on a meeting place for such a momentous occasion. When Klaatu makes known his wish to live amongst ordinary people, to understand them better, Mr. Harley rebuffs him and implies that the alien patient is a prisoner. Later, Klaatu easily escapes into the night.

He goes to a boarding house and tells those living there his name is "Carpenter", taking the name from a laundry label on a suit he has taken. Among the residents are Helen Benson (Patricia Neal), an employee of the United States Department of Commerce, and her son Bobby (Billy Gray). Helen is a widow; her husband was killed at Anzio during World War II. The next morning, Klaatu listens to the radio commentator and breakfast table banter of the boarders. They wonder whether the spaceship is from outer space or perhaps the work of the Soviets. When Helen's boyfriend, Tom Stephens (Hugh Marlowe), plans a day-trip getaway for the two of them, Klaatu offers to take care of Bobby.

Bobby gives Klaatu a tour of Washington, D.C., including a visit to the grave of his father in Arlington National Cemetery, where Klaatu learns with dismay that most of those buried there were killed in wars. The two next visit the Lincoln Memorial and the heavily guarded spaceship where Gort stands motionless. Klaatu, impressed by the inscription of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, is hopeful that there may be minds on Earth wise enough to understand his message. When he asks Bobby to name the greatest person in the world today, Bobby mentions a leading American scientist, Professor Barnhardt (Sam Jaffe), who lives nearby.

Bobby takes Klaatu to Barnhardt's home. The professor is absent, but Klaatu goes into his study and helps solve an advanced mathematical n-body problem written on a blackboard, before leaving his address with the housekeeper. Later, government agents escort Klaatu to see Barnhardt. Klaatu warns the professor that the people of the other planets know that human beings have developed atomic power and will not allow this to endanger them. Barnhardt offers Klaatu the opportunity to speak at an upcoming meeting of world scientists he is organizing; Klaatu accepts. Barnhardt is stunned when Klaatu declares that if his message is rejected by the leaders of the nations, "Planet Earth will be eliminated." The professor soberly pleads that Klaatu first provide a minor demonstration of his power as a warning. . . I won't ruin the ending

So is this cafe still open or did it go out of business ?

OH OH!

there is a remake of this coming out this december!

Another classic film to ruin then .
Andy

Sorry Terri, didnt see you sitting there on your own.
Fancy a Capucino?
Nige

sure , I love one , but with my day in cyper space a beer would fit the situation better .
Better make it something stronger.......

do we have a liquor license here???

;-)

I sure hope so .................

If the liquor licence has run out, i'm off.

Barkeep, a round of your finest sippin' whiskey for all please.

And have one yourself!

I just renewed the licence last month. I know its quiet in here , but most everyone is on vacation. I was thinking about running the Godfather trilogy so sit back and enjoy. The Italian sampler platter is the chef's special tonight. The wine is a robust red 56' from Sicily. Canole's are free with the expresso coffee. The deep dish pan pizza is in the oven as well. Somebody get the lights!