Well, we're beginning our preparations for Elvis' birthday here. Also happens to be David Bowie's and my son's as well. Guess who's actually gonna make it?

Survivors of the Great Spray String War Jan.02, 2013.

"No wait! I can explain!"

I think we've all been here:

Borrowed from GoComics.

Isn't that the truth?!

Tom

Amen and amen. JT

The Laws of Modeling 101
The information herein has been gathered by practical application of trial and error (and lots of it.) While applicable to most modeling scenarios it is case specific to Wingnuts.

1.) Every modeler's desk comes with a black hole beneath it, that swallows parts. Only on rare occasions does it see fit to spew one back at you.
a.) Only the highly scratchbuilt parts or ones that have no replacements will fall into this black hole b.) The probability of dropping a part is inversely proportional to the size of the part.
c.) The closer the match of a part and the floor, the greater the probability of dropping the part.
d.) A dropped part will bounce to the most inaccessible area of the room. (this also allows you to mark the boundaries of your black hole. (Note:A dropped X-acto knife will visit your foot before obeying d.) e.) As soon as you quit looking for the missing part you will probably step on it.
2.) The time it takes to build a kit is in direct proportion to the amount of reference material used and often impedes further builds.
a.) The more unbuilt kits you have on the shelves the fewer kits you actually build.
b.) Unbuilt kits expand to fill available space.
c.) Reference materials expand beyond available space.
d.) The more second source reference materials(published by non-modelers) adds confusion, not clarification.
The solution here is to choose a 'school of thought' from informed sources.
3.) No matter what the size of your modeling desk is, 99.9% of all your modeling will be done in the 5 square inches of the center front edge.
4.) Dollar for dollar and pound sterling for pound sterling the absolute best value is a figure of a seated pilot. Simply put 'it fills the hole' where some modelers would rather replace aircraft cockpit details (because their too 'Fiddly' or wind up in the 'Black Hole') with a pilot figure.
5.) No matter what your method of sealing your paint bottles it will go bad two days before your intended project.
6.) The amount you pay for a new paint brush is directly proportionate to the probability that you will inadvertently dip it in your coffee or a blob of super glue or both.
7.) What ever you purchase for your hobby will go on sale a week later.
8.) All manufacturers hold their releases until they are absolutely sure that you just spent six months scratch-building your version.
a.) There is 'NO' such thing as a perfect kit.
b.) Half built vacuform kits impress people with your skill.
c.) A completed Vacuform just looks like another model.
9.) There is no substitute for a well oiled Dremel motor tool.
10.) Humbrol paint will always be the best paint in the sorriest container.
11.) X-acto scars on your fingers are a given. Learn to live with them.
12.) Sooner or later you should buy an airbrush. The simpler the better.
13.) Half of the washes you apply will be done on the areas of your paint scheme that are not dry yet. But you'll do it anyway just to be sure.
14.) Lacquer thinner odors can be smelled by your family members from the basement through a solid core door.
15.) If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply. Because they'll quit making it just to spite you.
16.) The kit instructions, may be very interesting, but are 95 % of the time irrelevant.
17.) Tossing a finished, expensive model kit against the furthest wall in your basement at 90mph is the most sincerest form of self-criticism. But doesn't live up to the acclaimed rush that is supposed to follow.
18.) You will NEVER get all those models built!
19.) The probability of finding an error in a built model increases exponentially after you've entered it in a contest.
a.) The more important the contest the greater the error.
20.) Alcohol & modeling never mix or at minimum you will glue something on upside down.

And now a pop quiz what is the 'Theorem of Progression' ?
The 'progression develops' thusly.
1.) As soon as you scratchbuild a model, a manufacturer will release a vacuform kit of it.
2.) As soon as you finish the vacuform kit, an injected molded version (this includes slush plastic, resin or metal) of the prototype will be released.
3.) As soon as you convert the injected molded kit of the prototype to the version you want, your version will be released by another manufacturer who will, include the refined versions of the decals, resin or photo etch that you had suggested to them on their website. But they will not mention you or provide you with gratis examples for your trouble.
4.) You can't win.(Because manufactures will inevitably simplify their processes.)
5.) You can't break even. Unless you value your own work.
6.) But, you can publish an article that will give you a chance to review their kit and point out its flaws.

Next Pop quiz what is 'The Law of Finite Differences'?
Specifically the 'Law of Finite Differences' in modeling says that 'In most people's minds, the line between being different and being weird is thin and easily crossed. Also note that no one of your family or friends will ever take you seriously until you make money at this. Then its no longer a hobby. Now you have two jobs and no way to relieve the added stress. (The corollary is ‘don’t take yourself too seriously about your hobby. Enjoy it.)

Next Pop Quiz: What is ‘The Thick Thumb Theorem'
The 'Thick Thumb Theorem' states that 'the difficulty in reaching a seam union, (so to sand smooth said seam) is directly proportionate to the mismatch of the parts by both the manufacturer's desire for simplicity and the resultant attempt of the modeler to do it right.' Hence the reason we all tend to feel like a Rhino glueing petals on a rose at times.

Next Pop Quiz: What is the unofficial Rules for Parliamentary Procedures and Monthly Club Meetings' for any Modeling Club?
1.) If it doesn't matter, it does not matter!!! (The Corollary: However it will take up most of the meeting to discuss. This applies specifically to grudges against other modelers, clubs or contest Committees
a.) All modeling clubs are part of the one community, if you want to bicker with another club about something that happened five years ago, shouldn't you be doing somewhere else?
b.) All modeling clubs are part of the wider community, take the hobby to the community where you can and it will grow;
2.) All models are made equal. It’s the effort and the enjoyment that counts not the detail;
3.) Whatever you want to say, its okay, we all want to hear it;
a.) The number of prizes you have collected does not make you an expert;
b.) Sharing is important; everyone wants to learn what everyone knows;
c.) Its okay to be wrong; mistakes help you learn;
d.) A smart-aleck criticism can be devastating; if you can't be constructive, what are you doing here?)
e.)A model is a model is a model. It is not a replica aircraft.
f.) If I can't see your details, how can I admire them?
g.) Being the ‘Club President’ five years running does not make you a better modeler. I just means that either the club respects you or they all have lives other than modeling.
h.) Contrary to popular belief, beer does not make for better meetings, only drunken ones;
i.) LISTEN YOU MAY HEAR SOMETHING!
j.) A motion to adjourn to the nearest coffee shop and or restaurant is always in order. There, disagreement may be dealt with directly in the adjoining parking lot. Quite possibly under the watchful eye of the local constabulary Now for the Final Test of the Laws of Modeling 101. For those of you who joined us late I suggest some cramming with flash cards. The answer must include elements of the entire course. To be specific even elements of the previous contributions from the class may be used in your answer. These will be limited to one sentence only and must be complete thoughts. Here it is: according to the material dealt with in this course. What makes a satisfying scale model?

'What make a satisfying model is the attitude of the Modeler.'

The weary modeler trudges along the sidewalk, he turns and climbs the stairs. He shuffles across the porch and pushes the door open. The little bell rings, ding ding. THe modeler looks around the room. No one. THe TV's are even off. He walks to the bar, slaps his hand down and yells "Barkeep", only silence is heard. He walks to the kitchen, the stove is cold, the oil in the fryer has solidified. At least the dishes are all washed.

He walks over to the mop closet. Nothing, even the mop is dry. He walks over to the store room, "Jack, you back here somewhere?" More silence. He opens the Fosters fridgerator, "Damien" , "Are you in here?" jusr echos. Not even a lone can of Fosters.

He goes to the Men's room, no one in there. He walks to the Lady's room and pounds on the door "Jessie, Teri, Sam are you hiding in there?" No response.

It too cold for anyone to be in the beer garden, heck there's even snow on the BBQ.

He walks back to the bar. Grabs a glass and walks to the Coors tap, PSSST, just a dollop of foam drops out. Nest he tries the Guinness tap, PSSST, not even foam. He tries the Heineken tap, PSSST, Oh Gawd who kicked the skunk? Frustrated he sets the beer glass in the sink.

He walks to the drink tower, gets a cup and puts it under the ice spout. Grind, grind, grind but no ice falls out. OK maybe some soda, presses the cola tab, nothing. Oh well I'll just have to try the 30 yo single malt neat. He walks to the back of the bar. Great there's a chain net over the bottles.

OK, maybe I can reach thru the net and grab the Jack Daniels, it's in a square bottle, it might for between the chains. Alright my hand fits thru the net, I've got the Jack, now I just have to pull it through the net. Aw geez, the bottle doesn't fit between the chains. Oh well, maybe I can just open it and pour it into this cup.

Well, at least that worked.

The weary modeler sits and the bar and sips the amber fluid. Ah, it burns all the way down.

He ponders, What have I done? How did I manage to empty this place out? Heck, it seems like everyone has even abandoned Aeroscale in general. What did I do, what can I do? Takes another sip, ummm Smooooth.

Heck, you can't even watch
Wings anymore. It's The Military Channel now and all they do is talk about old movies.

Takes another sip. Heck maybe I'll figure out to run the TV and watch a Top Gear rerun

See that huge pile of empty Fosters cans beside the fireplace ? Well you MIGHT find me buried under it, maybe, perhaps.

Shhhhhhhhhhh, I have a headache.

D

overtired ......drinking vodka

Barkeep ?


pour me another

Oh, sorry. I've been out running around trying to scare up articles to post as weekend features. You wouldn't know of anyone with a nicely finished model who'd like to see it on the front page, would you?

Sorry, this is as close as I ham to a completion lately.
AAA, Old Slow and Ugly

Ok I just retured from the depot picking up supplies. Delivery van broke anaxle last week so I have to use the deuce and a half to pick up stores. . . As I opened the delivery door I noticed the empty bottle hanging between the retrainer chains and a pile of empty Fosters. . . I was only gone for a couple of hours. Wait a minute the empties are moving.

This time of the month of January brings around strange food and strong drink (likely to help with the aforesaid strange food). Yes, that's right, it's time once again for Robbie Burns night! Put on your kilts, grab a bottle of single malt, it's time to hunt the wily Haggis in its natural habitat.

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

And of course only here on the Left Coast can we have a mix of traditions, because Chinese New Year approaches. I present to you a Vancouver tradition, Gung Haggis Fat Choi!

Multiculturalism! It works!

Today our Supreme Dictator^WPrime Minister finally had his way. The country is officially penniless. So in honour of the event, drinks this evening will cost one penny. The catch is, they have to have a Maple Leaf on them.
.

Join with us as we mourn the passing of a tradition. Thoughts will no longer be available for purchase, and luck is out the window.

Washrooms will have to up their prices!

Yea, now it's going to cost a nickle a square

Re: Survivors of the Great Spray String War -- will the armistice hold??

"The family that sprays together, stays together!"

In Holland we've been penniless (centless in Holland) for decades, and 2 minutes after the Euro was introduced the two cent piece was also thrown out. The Dutch are so .......

Well, Jessica, thank God for that! A blessing for us folk 'south of the border' in the shopping mecca of Bellingham and beyond. No longer will Canadian shoppers be filling our cash registers with funny, foreign pennies we can't even dream of getting rid of ... even at a bank!

Yet the question remains: what do I do with the 150,000 Canook pennies I've collected in a jar over the last 40 years, eh??? ... so much for my retirement scheme!

(just funnin' with ya from Concrete, Washington just 40 miles 'south'.)

Bring them up here and sell them in flea markets. Make art out of them or use them in place of fishing weights to keep your models on their nose wheels

Wow, I've actually been there, stayed the night while visiting North Cascades NP. It wasn't all that hard
to find......

Place seemed a bit thin on LHS though.

Find a BIG wishing well and start tossing them in, with that many coins something is bound to come true eventually !

yeppers ... 65 miles R/T to the hobby shop down by I-5. And even then it is the only one between Seattle and Vancouver BC. (nothing in Bellingham anymore) Nice folk though. Mostly that RC stuff but they are nice enough to order real modeling items for me.

Hi, Loren. Would that be Galaxy Hobbies in Lynnwood? JT